Instead of imparting my words of wisdom to you (ahem..) this time I am asking you for advice!
I am looking at getting a new job - do I tell them I have a disability before the interview, during, after, not at all?! Does anyone have any experience of negative / positive experiences?
Help!
Tuesday, 24 September 2013
Tuesday, 17 September 2013
Shout it out.
Whilst I have recently had to step down in my work environment due to declining health, I do still manage to keep a part time role in retail with the support of my family and work friends. As a result of my disability I have occasions where I use a variety of walking aids - Some days sticks, some Crutches etc. Occasionally I get to use only under-clothes supports making me "look fine"
I had one customer ask me what I had done whilst on walking sticks one day. Rather than explain the whole Good day/Bad Day and as I wasn't able to tell him where to go I brushed it off as me being clumsy and left it at that.My boss heard and took me into the staff room for a word. I wondered if I should have not said anything - a lot of our role is working with children and parents can be very protective about the information they give them. And I was correct in thinking I was in trouble with her - but not for the reason I thought. She said to me - " Don't you ever lie about your disability again. Firstly if anyone does like it or has issues with it they can get the F*** out of my shop. Secondly Your disability is a part of you and your experiences make you, you. You have a natural empathy with the quieter kids, the kids who come in on their way to hospitals and doctors and can relate in a way none of us can. Be proud of who you are"
Whilst reminding me how lucky I am to be surrounded by individuals who support me so much (given some of the horror stories I have heard) it made me realise I do down play my disability, put a brave face on, Grin and bear it for the sake of others. Why?! My closest friends and family know what I go through so no point hiding from them. And anyone else - who cares!
So I wanted to pass this on to you. I have only classed myself as disabled in the last 2 years or so and am still adjusting to my "new life" so to those of you in the same boat remember how my boss finished my conversation - " Those who matter don't mind, those who mind don't matter"
My Family - Who don't mind and who matter so much. :-)
I had one customer ask me what I had done whilst on walking sticks one day. Rather than explain the whole Good day/Bad Day and as I wasn't able to tell him where to go I brushed it off as me being clumsy and left it at that.My boss heard and took me into the staff room for a word. I wondered if I should have not said anything - a lot of our role is working with children and parents can be very protective about the information they give them. And I was correct in thinking I was in trouble with her - but not for the reason I thought. She said to me - " Don't you ever lie about your disability again. Firstly if anyone does like it or has issues with it they can get the F*** out of my shop. Secondly Your disability is a part of you and your experiences make you, you. You have a natural empathy with the quieter kids, the kids who come in on their way to hospitals and doctors and can relate in a way none of us can. Be proud of who you are"
Whilst reminding me how lucky I am to be surrounded by individuals who support me so much (given some of the horror stories I have heard) it made me realise I do down play my disability, put a brave face on, Grin and bear it for the sake of others. Why?! My closest friends and family know what I go through so no point hiding from them. And anyone else - who cares!
So I wanted to pass this on to you. I have only classed myself as disabled in the last 2 years or so and am still adjusting to my "new life" so to those of you in the same boat remember how my boss finished my conversation - " Those who matter don't mind, those who mind don't matter"
My Family - Who don't mind and who matter so much. :-)
Sunday, 15 September 2013
Wheelie Good Reasons..
There are a huge amount of reasons to use a wheelchair.
People who can *technically* walk - I.E they can actually move their legs, are wheelchair users too. If you see a tiny old lady in a wheelchair, you do not assume that she has lost the use of her legs. Just because some users are younger, this doesn't exclude them!
I occasionally use a wheelchair. I can walk. Some days I can walk very well (if only for short distances) Sometimes I have to use a wheelchair. It is far to pain full (and therefore unsafe) for me to walk even short distances.
Believe me, being an occasional wheelchair user is not something I do for fun, or because I "can't be bothered" walking. Whenever I am in my wheels it means having to constantly ask for assistance - getting into shops, people moving out of my way, cashiers leaning over to pass me things. (or worse - completely ignoring me to speak to my partner) The world is very badly equipped for wheelchair users. It is NOT EASIER. You have to pre-plan where to go, how you are going to get there. Book spaces in advance as many business only have one wheelchair space. No spur of the moment - "Ooh, this looks nice lets go here" you have to Google maps to see the terrain, so see what the floor is made of. And to finish up - you get constant people looking at you, because you "look" fine. I once got a middle aged woman, (I was going to say lady but that would be incorrect...) shout at me for being a fraud and "stealing" someone wheelchair as she saw me stretch my leg out. She said "That's disgusting, have you stolen someone's wheelchair? I've just seen you move so you can obviously walk. You should be ashamed of yourself!"
I was about to defend myself - Depressingly I was going to get out my Blue badge to "prove it to her" but my partner of 6 years who was with me was speaking before I even had a chance to think... She went on to explain that a) I struggle to walk etc and B) IT WAS NONE OF HER DAMN BUSINESS. She went on to explain that she had spent months encouraging me into a wheelchair (having previously been very reluctant for the exact situation that was happening now) she was not about to let some "narrow minded numpty" (I have to admit I was smiling buy this point..) make me feel ashamed for having a body that doesn't work for people whose brains dont work..
So please remember. Wheelchair users are in the chair for a variety of reasons. You wouldn't go and comment on a strangers clothes choice or say you thought they were ugly/pretty see our chairs in the same way - or rather, don't see them. We know about us, and we know why we are in them. You do not. It is not any concern of yours what we do. Just help us by opening doors, and assume we know our bodies best.
People who can *technically* walk - I.E they can actually move their legs, are wheelchair users too. If you see a tiny old lady in a wheelchair, you do not assume that she has lost the use of her legs. Just because some users are younger, this doesn't exclude them!
I occasionally use a wheelchair. I can walk. Some days I can walk very well (if only for short distances) Sometimes I have to use a wheelchair. It is far to pain full (and therefore unsafe) for me to walk even short distances.
Believe me, being an occasional wheelchair user is not something I do for fun, or because I "can't be bothered" walking. Whenever I am in my wheels it means having to constantly ask for assistance - getting into shops, people moving out of my way, cashiers leaning over to pass me things. (or worse - completely ignoring me to speak to my partner) The world is very badly equipped for wheelchair users. It is NOT EASIER. You have to pre-plan where to go, how you are going to get there. Book spaces in advance as many business only have one wheelchair space. No spur of the moment - "Ooh, this looks nice lets go here" you have to Google maps to see the terrain, so see what the floor is made of. And to finish up - you get constant people looking at you, because you "look" fine. I once got a middle aged woman, (I was going to say lady but that would be incorrect...) shout at me for being a fraud and "stealing" someone wheelchair as she saw me stretch my leg out. She said "That's disgusting, have you stolen someone's wheelchair? I've just seen you move so you can obviously walk. You should be ashamed of yourself!"
I was about to defend myself - Depressingly I was going to get out my Blue badge to "prove it to her" but my partner of 6 years who was with me was speaking before I even had a chance to think... She went on to explain that a) I struggle to walk etc and B) IT WAS NONE OF HER DAMN BUSINESS. She went on to explain that she had spent months encouraging me into a wheelchair (having previously been very reluctant for the exact situation that was happening now) she was not about to let some "narrow minded numpty" (I have to admit I was smiling buy this point..) make me feel ashamed for having a body that doesn't work for people whose brains dont work..
So please remember. Wheelchair users are in the chair for a variety of reasons. You wouldn't go and comment on a strangers clothes choice or say you thought they were ugly/pretty see our chairs in the same way - or rather, don't see them. We know about us, and we know why we are in them. You do not. It is not any concern of yours what we do. Just help us by opening doors, and assume we know our bodies best.
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